Children & Parenting

What is happening with parenting in the USA? Seriously. My friend John and I were out to dinner at Marathon Grill at 16th and Samson in Philadelphia at 8 pm on Friday night. Across from us, a table of 5 adults and two children were having their meal. What was incredible to me was the 3-4 year old standing up on the high chair and screaming, then running along the booths and playing with blinds. What was more incredible was the ineffectual attempts by the mother to control either child's behavior. After 30 minutes of this, including an episode in which both children darted away from the table (still screaming) and were in the way of servers and other guests, John lost it.

Shouting directly at the kid, "SHUT UP" in an unquestionably authoritative voice, the restaurant was swept into silence. For about 5 seconds.

The mother was offended, the presumed father was so outraged he got up lunged at my friend and had to be physically restrained by his "bros." The entire party was aghast at the nerve John had in speaking to their children.

I continued to eat my fantastic coconut shrimp and take another sip of my Pinot Grigio. Fully prepared to step up and poised with my knife in the other hand, I actually thought the scene was going to devolve into violence. It didn't and after apologies and other harsh words from them, they left. Nearly an hour later, as I was outside on my cell phone coordinating some other members of our party arriving, I noticed the "daddy" and three of his friends standing on the opposite street corner waiting to continue this in a more physical manner. They shouted at me and then finally stalked off into the lovely evening air. What did this say about them, the messages they were sending to their children and the role of decorum in public places? Apparently it is better to take offense and then violent action than to discipline your own children.

I share this because the level of kindness in public places seems to be declining. We are all to blame for this - my friend shouting, their expectation of tolerance by others, the willingness to get physical and the "pack" mentality of status and retribution. Is it any wonder we are looked at so poorly by other nations and cultures? Should we expect kindness when we are certain, as the parents were of their own moral "rightness." Perhaps we should all look more closely at our motives and feelings, thus taking responsibility for ourselves before we are so quick to blame others. We could all use a bit more kindness in our lives.

Election Night - Part Deux

I am once again frustrated and enraged by my fellow neighbors and citizens - this time in Maine. Thank goodness for Adam Bouska (and partner Jeff Parshley) and his NoH8 campaign. It is a powerful representation of where we are as gay citizens in a culture which asks us to be less than what we are. Why is this?

From a business perspective, the prevention of citizens by government to marry seems an exercise in futility. Over time, every ethnic, gender and religious group has been integrated. The fights are costly, divisive and result in countless lives being affected in a negative way until acceptance. Doesn't it seem silly to make gays the whipping boy of our time? Do you really think it is going to turn out any differently? Who will need to get shot before the public realizes how ridiculous the arguments of those opposed to same sex marriage are?

Also, as a special message to all of our religious institutions - be careful of what you support now, for later, you will reap the harvest of the seeds of hate. When you have your tax exemption removed because of your involvement in this issue, you will look back and only have yourself to blame. As a species we need to move forward in harmony. Marriage is not a zero sum game, it is non-zero sum where your support and understanding now will pay dividends to all of us later. Mark my words, those who oppose us will never gain the benefits of the LGBT community dollar, business or network. We are well educated, affluent and highly brand loyal - all of the marketing research proves it. So check back and if others have ideas for how to move this along, please comment.

Natural, Easy Transition. . .

Anthony left today. He flew back to London to convert his FAA licenses over to the JAA in the UK. In addition, his visa was up, so he needed to go renew it. What happens during this process should be "easy and natural" but as in many things, it is harder to have your partner gone than here. I'm sure many in a relationship (and some who aren't) understand. I really look forward to him being gainfully employed!

The issues of work, immigration and pay are critical for many businesses and industries. Who is willing to do the work, who is qualified to do the work and what is reasonable compensation?

This certainly isn't confined to pilots. There are many highly technical or trained jobs which have more demand than supply, as there are those in which unskilled labor is aggressively sought out by immigrants. Should be be protectionist in our workplace? I am not so sure. One of the issues facing small business is the level of expectation of employees: benefits, salary (or any compensation), vacation, sick leave, etc. . Dovetail this with the expectation of our government to tax the owners, the business itself and the employees, that is a lot of friction to producing quality goods and services. Perhaps we should be less forceful in controlling who is eligible "to work" and instead allow the business to decide who the best employees are. Wouldn't that make more sense?

All Saints Day

Today is All Saints Day - one of the celebrations not necessarily a focus of in the USA, but one which many cultures recognize far more than Halloween. We did have an amazing time at Halloween and Trick or Treat Main Street was particularly successful. This blog post is in honor of a facinating book I have read: The Evolution of God by Robert Wright. Totally worth at read!

http://www.amazon.com/Evolution-God-Robert-Wright/dp/0316734918/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1257724567&sr=8-1

Neologism - These are TOO good!

Speaking to Win: The Blog

2009 Winners Of The NY Post Neologism Contest

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.),a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6.. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole

Phishing

So today I had a phishing attack on Twitter. Bizarre that people feel the need to try to capture my personal information. Or is it?

Twitter allows for many of us an unbridled sense of extroversion. We simply share often in a stream of consciousness, but much of what we provide on Twitter, including blog links, friends and access to potential consumers is worth a lot of money. Disregard them getting my banking information, my identity has value. My connections and content has value. To pretend to be me or to splash communications out there as if it was me is very frightening for the identity that is my personal brand (and thus my company brand.) Definitely disturbing.

Have you been subject to a phishing attack?

Trick or Treat - Article

As children, we look forward to Halloween as an opportunity to dress up in costume, play a role, get candy from neighbors, hang out with our friends and stay up late telling stories of restless spirits. We called out “Trick or Treat?” in the hopes of a full bag of candy. So this year, which have you gotten?
For the Seal Beach business community, there have definitely been elements of both. It has been a remarkably difficult year due to a real pull back in consumer and business spending. Historic businesses have seen contraction in their sales and margins for many have gotten slimmer. On the other hand, some businesses have been doing better: alcoholic beverage sales are up, communication technologies (like the iPhone) are robust and there is a much higher sales pattern in alternative energy and “green” products.
Are we out of the recession yet? It is doubtful. Despite billons in government bailout, there are still a great many homes financially underwater and still more bank failures coming. Unemployment benefits are running out for millions of Americans and yet job growth is sluggish. Our centers of shopping still have many vacancies, like the Mel’s Diner, which recently closed at the Shops at Rossmoor. Some businesses in our town are transitioning ownership or looking to sell, even those which have been around for decades. In addition, California has certainly not gotten its own financial house in order, but our City seems to still be ready for the continued pullback in infrastructure support.
It will get better, but we need to continue to work together do it by shopping and spending locally. Marshall’s is coming into the space vacated by Circuit City and we have seen some recovery on Main Street. The Chamber is producing many events we can all participate in and look forward to: Dress up Halloween & Trick or Treat Main Street Sidewalk Sale (Oct. 30th - 31st & November 1st), Annual Thanksgiving Community Dinner (November 26th), our Holiday Tree Lighting at Eisenhower Park (November 27th), and the Annual Christmas Parade (December 4th).
It is also a time to consider the generosity of Halloween. We give away freely to those we don’t even know. We do our best to create safe places for our children to play and explore new costumes, identities and enjoy scary mysteries. Can’t we do that for each other? Let us try hard not to judge others, but to protect individuality for the costumes we live in life. Let each of us not just give the free candy, but give of our time, talent and treasure to our community by volunteering. Several church groups are coming together for Impact Seal Beach on November 14th and there are many service organizations and non-profits which can use your help. We need to support events by not only attending, but asking friends and family to our town and sharing the wonder that is Seal Beach.
One project in particular which will help with sharing our town is the new Seal Beach map. A joint project between the City and the Chamber, the City map is newly revised with street names, businesses and key facts. It will help both visitors and residents alike in being up-to-date and clearly to scale. It even has enlarged call out sections for our busiest areas like Leisure World and the PCH corridor. Look for it before Thanksgiving.
As the writer Steve Almond said, “Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night.” Hopefully, all of us can have a full, beautiful bag of abundance and plenty when asked the same question. “Trick or Treat?” this time next year!

When things go wrong. . .

Sometimes things go wrong in your business - like equipment breaking. Recently, at the bike shop, the compressor failed. As you can imagine, in a bike shop, being able to fill tires via compressor is fairly critical.

So when something fails, what do you do? Do you call someone else or can you fix it on your own?

Teaching and blogging?

Today I was working with my client Barbara B. (my bug!) and teaching her about the benefits of blogging. It reminded me how teaching is an important component of any good consultant. All to often a "consultant" comes into a business, makes some observations, analyzes some data, provides a set of recommendations and then leaves. Don't you hate that?

We need to remember to help with execution of what we recommend! Not everyone knows how to write, or analyze or observe effectively. That is NOT their failure (at least not yet.) Take a moment to try the following:

1. Listen: Really hear what the client is trying to stay. It may take a bit for them to get it out.
2. Listen some MORE! Then ask if there is more.
3. Reflect on the issues based on what you know and what you have found in the situation affecting the client's business.
4. Use the K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid) principle when presenting findings.
5. If you can teach a tool to reinforce the concept - do so.
6. Follow up and repeat (do I sound like shampoo directions? - rinse, repeat)

I know I am thankful for the feedback I have gotten from others when I have asked about this blog. Their feedback (through LinkedIn Answers) really helped remind me to keep the blog focused. Hope you find it so.

Weasel Words - thank you Altus Agency!

"We are the market leader, earning our clients' loyalty by providing exemplary service and value. We value honesty, innovation and our employees most of all."

If your mission statement resembles that - shame on you!

Weasel words. We use that term for the buzzwords that people use when they really don't know what to say. It's almost like a magician's slight of hand. If I use these words, you won't recognize that I'm not really saying anything.

Many times, weasel words crop up when a committee is involved or in an environment where no one wants to tell the boss that the corporate culture is not a healthy one. Words like empowerment, paradigm and innovation are clues that you've entered into the weasel word danger zone!

Contrast those weasel words with this simple but meaningful sentence. It comes from the values statement of one of our clients (they wrote these themselves, so we're not patting ourselves on the back.) "Fun provides energy for success." I not only understood every word, but it gives me a sense of who they are and what they'd be like to work with.

I think people use weasel words because they are at a loss. They feel like they need to fill space or deflect our attention. Or that somehow we won't think they're legit if they talk like regular people. They're afraid they won't measure up. They won't be good enough.

The truth of the matter is - we know they're not perfect. And we like them better when they don't pontificate or wax on.

Basically, they have a brand inferiority complex. Keep a sharp eye on your own writing and your company's cornerstone documents. At the first sign of the weasel words - grab that red pen!

Reprinted with permission by Altus Agency & David Jefferys. If you want more info, write me!